” Mumma, where is my bag?”, “Mumma I need help, I can’t find my shoes.”, ” Papa, need help, this maths problem is difficult.”. I am sure every one of us has experienced similar situations. Even I was going through the same. My 9-year-old would ask for help with everything. It is not a challenge to help children. The important lesson is to make them resourceful, help them to think critically, and develop independent problem-solving skills.

When children were babies, they have to rely on parents or caregivers for their needs. With time as they are growing, it is crucial to train them to be independent in solving their basic challenges. I absolutely agree that children need our support and guidance. And for us, it’s hard NOT to jump in and solve every problem or answer every question. So, how can we help children feel both safe and supported and ready to become more independent?
I was reading an online article on similar lines. I was fascinated and experimented. The article talked about a simple strategy that works:
“Make an effort three times”. ”This means asking children to try three different strategies to solve a problem before turning to a parent for help.
How did I use it?- When my son asked mumma I can’t find my shoes? I said, “Make an effort three times,” He asked what do you mean? I said,” Ok what can be three places where you can find, search and tell me.”He went to look go three different places and found it. He was delighted that he found it.
I would like to add one more example here. When he asked me ” I can’t solve this maths problem.” I said the same thing, “Make an effort three times”. He went back. Looked at his textbook, and followed the steps given in the book. Still, he was not able to do it. So he called his friend. Both discussed it and were able to find a solution.
My son understood that his mother resist giving him immediate solutions and waits for the solutions that he can think of and work on. I have seen confidence and empowerment when he is solving his own challenge.
“Make an effort three times” is a simple but effective strategy to encourage children to become self-sufficient and independent problem solvers. An aim is to ask children to make an effort to solve their problems independently by using simple three different ways or methods before asking for help from an adult.

This approach helped my son to develop critical thinking and foster a growth mindset. It also encouraged him to be resourceful, and resilient and to take ownership. I found this helpful.